Hanging on

9 days out of 10 I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread. It’s not just the “trans issue”, but lots of little things compounded. Tonight there is a lot going on with me, most of which are completely irrelevant to this topic, but it’s been days of hurt (yes, over transition issues) and I’m on the edge. My friends, bless their hearts are trying their best, as is Nick to help, but it’s just not enough. I want someone to tell me with 100% certainty that I’m going to be alright. In the state I’m in right now I don’t even know what I want…do I want to go home? Do I want to be here (as in Michigan where we currently are)? Do I want to cry, laugh, drink? I don’t know. Crawling in my linen closet (my safe place as a child) with my nighties (the name of my comfort object) and my beauty and the beast flashlight might be nice…too bad some butthead tore my house down (the house I grew up in was torn down to widen the road and my parents were forced to move last year). I’m going to try to hold it together piece myself back together and carry on. Good night world. kisses, Amanda  

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