Normal?

Lately I’ve been feeling like my new normal is what’s normal (for us anyways) more frequently… We are currently on a trip to my in-laws hometown in Illinois to celebrate Nick’s  grandma’s birthday parties. (Side note this trip is important to me because Quinny has yet to meet his great-grandmas on daddy’s side, while he has known mine his whole life.) We had to fly to St. Louis and then drive 3 hours to their hometown in IL. We stopped at a Walgreens on St. Louis and I told Nick these people are really different than us and I didn’t mean because they’re not trans. Sometimes you just have to laugh! On a serious note we went out to dinner last night, by we I mean Quinny, Emily, and I when the server came over and said, “how are you ladies tonight?” it didn’t sting like it use to. I know it makes her happy to be recognized as female so I guess that makes me happy. I’m still working towards identifying what we are though. I mean obviously what we are is a trans family, but since we don’t wear buttons in public that say “trans family” we look like 2 friends out with my son or a sane sex couple, I’m still not comfortable with either. It’s not fair to Emily to deny her, her son nor do I want to be her friend or a lesbian. I think this will, or at least I pray it will, work itself out in time. One last major change is my reactions. When I do things for Emily that most wives don’t do for their husbands, let’s say help them look more feminine I still joke with “yep I did that” or “yes, I just had to say that to my husband” and I’ll probably still say those things for a while because I think it’s funny, but I don’t need to say them anymore to make myself feel better the way I use to. These stories may seem like little steps, but in reality they are huge leaps in figuring out what our new normal is and moving forwards as a happy (trans) family.

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