He will be gone

I’m reading a book that my husband thought I should read. I’m actually not a huge fan of the style of this authors writing, but I’ve been sticking with it hoping it will get better. A few nights ago I read two chapters, while these chapters were written better the content was the challenge. I’ve been taking this process a day and step at a time, but keeping the end result in mind, but these chapters gave the quick and dirty of the whole process causing me to think about and deal with some realities that I have yet to consider. I wrote the following paragraph after hours of crying in the middle of a very raw, and emotional struggle… A new reality has hit me. What Emily looks like now is not what Emily will look like in the future. No matter who I spend my day with now, I still get my husband at night, that will be changing. He will be gone.

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2 Responses

  1. Charlott says:

    As a widow—from a 60+year marriage–the loss of your life partner is divestating. Forgotten are all the hard times but a re- occuring dream brings back the anxiety of loosing him. This dream takes me to some strange place and he dissaperes and I have no idea how to get back home leaving me with no vehicle or I don’t know where he left the car. I know in reality what it means—-I left myself to be his wife and now he left me. A woman is a giver—she can give her love, give her body, give him a child but she must never give away her id….And I did!

  2. Charlott says:

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and emotions—you write your emotions very strongly. So few can.

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