Scared of being hurt

If your spouse comes out to you as trans you think you are the one with the power. You get to make the choice to decide to stay or leave and you are the one holding all the “get out of jail free cards”, but what no one tells you the decision to stay is where it ends. You don’t get to hold this over your spouses head and you don’t get an infinite amount of free passes. No one forced you to stay, you made that decision on your own. The other thing no one can or will tell you is once you decide to stay your fear is not ending it is just beginning.  The fear of your spouse’s sexuality flipping, cheating, lying, being abandoned by friends or family, societal implications, job loss, discrimination, and the list goes on. At the heart and souls of it all is the fear of being hurt. I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want to go through this process, standing by my spouses side and in the end being hurt by him/her. I don’t want to be hurt by those who don’t understand or those who don’t want to be a part of our lives.

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