Complications

Have I ever mentioned that there are complications to being married to a trans person that we have to deal with that couples in “normal” heterosexual marriages don’t? If not let me enlighten you.

I’d consider myself a pretty insecure person and I certainly have issues with jealousy, but come on who doesn’t struggle with jealousy and insecurity? When your spouse is a trans woman you get to hear her talk about other girls clothes and not in a sexual or attraction way, but literally in a that’s cute I’d like to wear it way. It’s weird, it’s just plain weird I can’t lie and it makes you question your spouse’s intentions for complimenting you again (this is a cycle we spouses of trans folk go through understanding the difference in an I like the way you look, I’m attracted to you vs. I want to get in your dress- literally and without you in it type of way).

The next issues is friends. It’s usually pretty cut and dry, when you’re married you don’t maintain friendships with members of the opposite sex that don’t include your spouse. When your spouse is trans who are their friends and what is appropriate? Guys? Girls? Other trans people? Hanging out with a guy makes them look like they’re on a date. Hanging out with a girl, might looks like a couple of friends, but it could lead to more, the way a heterosexual guy-girl friendship could. Other trans people-that has lead a many a person down a dark and dangerous road as well. There is clearly no easy answer, here.  Maybe if you never let your trans spouse leave the house all would be fine (wink, wink).  I guess communication and trust must be the dominating factors here, yet there are still so many buts, so like many other things the simple solution has yet to be found.

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