Evenescence: My Immortal

There are the lyrics to Evenescence My Immortal.  My notes are in bold, they are my interpretation of how they apply to our transition.  This may seem sad, transition is sad, but I don’t want anyone to get the idea that I am living in a world of pain.  As I have said there are hard days and there are easy days.  I do look forward to being fully transitioned and moving on with our lives.  Right now we are in a type of limbo, with a kind of back and forth that can be painful and confusing. This song really hits home with me, describing my feelings currently feelings in these beginning stages of transition.

I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
‘Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

If you have to become Emily just do it, the back and forth is painful

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

The pain of transition

[Chorus:]
When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me

Describes the support I have to provide through Emily’s struggle

You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now I’m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Thinking about my life with Nick

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I’ve tried so hard to tell myself that you’re gone
But though you’re still with me
I’ve been alone all along

While we are still part time Nick is still present and yet he isn’t, but I have to know that he is gone because he as I knew him is gone

[Chorus]

… ah, me… ah, me… ah…