The idea of my husband
Sometimes it down right sucks seeing other “normal” couples and being reminded of what my life could have been or what it was suppose to be, but the truth is what they have is never what my life could have, should have, or would have been. When I look at happy couples I’m not mourning the loss of my husband I’m mourning the loss of the idea of my husband. My marriage never was what their marriage is and that’s not to say that there was anything wrong with my marriage, but there was something wrong with my husband. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again Emily is happier than Nick, Em is easier for other people to talk to and easier for me to get along with. Nick talked to me and he talked to people he knew really well, but it was a struggle, especially with new people. The joke was he couldn’t talk because he was married to me (haha), but the truth is he couldn’t talk because he was uncomfortable with himself. So here I am missing an idea, a vision that I had for my life, one that I have to let go of as I build a new life, a life that is more realistic, and a happier, healthier marriage.