15 things

15 things I want people to understand about being married to a trans person

  1. You do not know what you would do or how you would feel if you were in my shoes so please stop telling me what your reaction would be.
  2. Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. My spouses’ gender change has nothing to do with how she feels about me.
  3. My spouse is not doing this to me or to anyone else. If anything she has lived a selfish life and is now doing something for herself.
  4. I am hurting please don’t hurt me more by making ignorant or hateful comments.
  5. You may find my life interesting because it is different from yours, but it’s my life and to me it’s normal.
  6. My children will be ok.
  7. My spouse is happier and therefore our whole family is happier too.
  8. My sexual orientation is complicated now. I am not a lesbian although I am married to a woman. Please don’t point out to me what you think or how we appear, I already know I’m married to a woman so I appear to be a lesbian.
  9. It’s not ok to ask about surgery. If I chose to tell you then consider yourself lucky. I don’t ask you about your genitals so don’t ask me about my spouses’.
  10. My spouse uses the women’s restroom. It’s the safest and most sensible choice.
  11. Having a trans spouse is not like having a sister.
  12. Sharing (clothes, make up ect) is complicated, and can cause hurt feelings on my part.
  13. I made the choice to stay, please don’t question it, it’s my choice and my choice alone.
  14. I don’t need prayers I need love and acceptance for me and my family.
  15. I still love my spouse, please keep this in mind when speaking to me.


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