15 things I want people to understand about being married to a trans person
- You do not know what you would do or how you would feel if you were in my shoes so please stop telling me what your reaction would be.
- Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. My spouses’ gender change has nothing to do with how she feels about me.
- My spouse is not doing this to me or to anyone else. If anything she has lived a selfish life and is now doing something for herself.
- I am hurting please don’t hurt me more by making ignorant or hateful comments.
- You may find my life interesting because it is different from yours, but it’s my life and to me it’s normal.
- My children will be ok.
- My spouse is happier and therefore our whole family is happier too.
- My sexual orientation is complicated now. I am not a lesbian although I am married to a woman. Please don’t point out to me what you think or how we appear, I already know I’m married to a woman so I appear to be a lesbian.
- It’s not ok to ask about surgery. If I chose to tell you then consider yourself lucky. I don’t ask you about your genitals so don’t ask me about my spouses’.
- My spouse uses the women’s restroom. It’s the safest and most sensible choice.
- Having a trans spouse is not like having a sister.
- Sharing (clothes, make up ect) is complicated, and can cause hurt feelings on my part.
- I made the choice to stay, please don’t question it, it’s my choice and my choice alone.
- I don’t need prayers I need love and acceptance for me and my family.
- I still love my spouse, please keep this in mind when speaking to me.