The Price of Being Open and Honest

I am choosing to be open and to share our journey despite the negative reactions that are possible.  As I have said before we are very fortunate that the criticisms and loses of friends and family members have been minimal if existent at all, but now I am opening a whole new can of worms, I am trying to be more public and trying to share my story to a broader audience.  This opens me up to ignorance, hate, and simply individuals who have to make negative comments.  The positive spin on the negativity is it presents the opportunity to educate even if their negative comment is coming from an insensitive place.  I hope that I can give them what they need in order to change their way of thinking.

While we are very open and honest there is a line.  The line involves the most personal part of a persons life, the parts that are not appropriate to ask anyone, trans or not.  These parts may be shared with you by us or another trans person, but if it is not offered, don’t ask. That part involves the most initiate details of a persons medical transition and sexual relationships.  By medical transition I mean surgery and specifically “the surgery”.   I will not ask you about your genitals so please don’t ask me about my spouses’. That is between her and I and no one else needs to know.  The same goes for our sexual relationship. How we have sex, what our sex life is like, and what we do in the bedroom is no more your business than what goes on in your bedroom is my business.  What I will tell you is we are 110% committed to each other in every way.  Neither one of us is interested in the type of marriage that your needs cannot all be met by your spouse.  For us we don’t see the point of being married if we had to go outside of the marriage to have any needs met.  We do not judge others who chose a different path because it is not our business, only our marriage is our business and we are and will continue to do what is best for us.  Now, don’t get me wrong I totally understand the curiosity.  My life is different than yours and you want to understand it all and the majority we are more than happy to share, but remember their is a line.  Remember if you normally wouldn’t ask a certain question than it’s not OK to ask a trans person/couple either.

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